It’s tempting to write what you need to say. That’s good, if you’re writing a book or a poem. That’s bad, if you’re writing a web page or any document that is supposed to be helpful or even useful to the public.

Here’s an extreme example from the small web site of Pestoff Animal Control Products.

What 99% of readers want from the home page is, I presume, information about Pestoff products and an easy way to buy them. Reasonable?

Instead, this is what we read on the home page.

Thank you for visiting us.

Our site is dedicated to informing you about our highly successful products, services, distributors and clients. This is the launch page for taking you around our site and providing you with information about our business.

Use the buttons on the left to find out about our company, its products and services, its clients and our collective achievements.

You can also click on the link buttons in text at the bottom of each page or click on the button/bars within the text below to obtain specific information.

We are proud to hold ISO 9001/2000 accreditation. Click on the logo opposite to view our ISO9001/2000 certification details as issued by Bureau Veritas Quality International.

Fascinating? Just what you needed to know? Thought not.

Think what the reader needs to know. Then write what the reader needs to know.

Pestoff.co.nz — Let’s hope this inspires them to upgrade their web site. Don’t let’s be too scornful, either: any of us could fall into the same trap.

Plain, yes. Boring, no. Barbarous, never.

2010 is a big George Orwell year: the 60th anniversary of his death occurred in January.

John Rossi summarises Orwell’s life work in the Philadelphia Inquirer.

George Orwell’s advice on writing style is recycled over and over again, year after year, all over the world… for a very good reason: it is timeless.

It’s hard to beat Orwell’s clear, simple, focused tips, expressed in a style both simple and civilised.

1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech that you are used to seeing in print.
2. Never use a long word when a short word will do.
3. If it is possible to cut out a word, always cut it out.
4. Use the active rather than passive voice.
5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Whenever possible, use common words. Words that nearly every adult is likely to understand. Words that don’t require a trip to the dictionary.

Your aim in all business and professional writing is to get your message across quickly and clearly. Using common words is a plain language trick that really helps. It’s a simple way to spruce up your writing, making it more concise and more readable.

You’ll find hundreds of examples, once you start looking. Here are a few for starters:

• not in lieu of but instead of
• not subsequent to but after
• not under the provisions of but under.

Experiment. Wouldn’t your writing be clearer if you used:

• not transformation but change
• not outcomes but results
• not prioritized but most important
• not stakeholder but you or —well, stop and think who you really mean!

200 examples of unnecessarily complicated words, and alternatives, were published by the Local Government Association (UK) in March 2009.

This plain language writing tip needs no explanation: the meaning is obvious. The reason is pretty obvious too. And yet it bears constant repetition, because people forget.

In a business or government office, meaningless jargon may become so common that many otherwise normal, healthy, intelligent people think it makes sense. If you work in certain environments, you bathe in gobbledegook as it streams out of memos, reports, policy, procedures, presentations and even press releases. You yourself start writing the same jargon, confident it’s the right way to go.

And you start to participate in a group hallucination. You get this extraordinary illusion that ordinary people can understand what you are saying. (Or care.)

Here’s a classic example, the first two paragraphs on a government web page:

Scion places a high emphasis on developing strategic partnerships to build stronger science capability and ensure the delivery of worthwhile outcomes.

We have developed a diverse range of relationships with other research organisations, industry groups, and commercial businesses, both nationally and internationally, to greatly expand the potential of science-related opportunities.

Flesch-Kincaid readability score: zero. That means virtually no adult reader will be able to understand it easily.

What does the author really mean, in plain language? We can figure that out. But in the end, is it worth saying?

First figure out what you really mean, then say that. If it’s worth saying, say it in plain language. If it’s not worth saying, don’t bother.

Scion: Key Working Relationships

A High Court judge has questioned whether the head of Maritime New Zealand broke the law by axing a Nelson company as a safe ship monitor.


Bad language is mentioned:

Mrs Reynolds attended the injunction and said Justice Miller criticised MNZ for language that was “pure consultant speak … and meaningless”.

It’s not unreasonable to infer, from the context, that fancy language could have been used deliberately. Now that’s not the norm, in my experience.

Gobbledegook usually results from habit, carelessness or misconceptions about good business writing—don’t you agree? I think it’s reasonable to assume that most officials are not motivated by an evil desire to hoodwink the public with long words. But in this case, the thought may cross your mind.

News item in Stuff.co.nz: Judge queries legality of move by Maritime NZ

In all business writing, including web content, use the same word for the same thing. Be consistent. It’s not boring, it’s clear.

This is the opposite of the advice we received in school, when we were learning “creative writing”. We were told that it’s boring to repeat the same word. Be creative! said our teacher. Find a synonym! Use the thesaurus!

But business English is not supposed to be creative! It’s supposed to be clear.

Are you providing a workshop, a seminar, a tutorial, a class or a course? Decide, and then use the same word.

Here’s an example of what happens if you break this rule. In the following sentences, people may assume that two different events are being discussed:

A workshop on basic HTML will be held at Reddnose High School on 7 July. If you want to attend the beginners’ seminar, contact secretary@rhs.edu.tk.

But which word will you choose? In order of preference:

1. the word in the company style guide
2. the word you’ve always used in the past
3. the word that seems best after a little bit of research.

If you want to communicate clearly, use positive language. This is a basic guideline for writing plain language.

Negative language is inherently difficult to use because it has:
• conceptual difficulties (you may be writing about something nonexistent)
• psychological difficulties (negative language makes people feel bad)
• cultural implications (negativity can damage international business relationships).

Be especially careful to avoid using:
• two or more negatives in one sentence
• negative language in forms (application forms etc.)
• ‘not only… but also’
• negative questions.

Negative words:
no, not, won’t, never, nowhere, never, nothing, nobody, no-one etc.

Negative bits of words:
un-, de-, dis-, non-, in-, contra-, counter-. anti-, -less.

Words with negative connotations or complications:
however, except, unless, only if, despite, default, remove, cancel, unfortunately, hesitate, refuse, withdraw, error, loss, poor

NEGATIVE Please do not hesitate to call me.
POSITIVE Please call me.

UNCLEAR (NEGATIVE) Under no circumstances must this be used [except] in the case of a fire.
CLEAR (POSITIVE) Use this fire hose if you discover a fire.

UNCLEAR (DOUBLE NEGATIVE) Do you agree that the number of police should not fall below the number employed nationally as at 31 January 1997?
CLEAR (POSITIVE) Do you agree that the number of police officers employed nationally should be at least 8000?

Firehose image by Miraz Jordan, Knowit

Three principles will take you a long way towards writing clearly:

• Use short words
• Use short sentences
• Use short paragraphs.

Judgement is always required, but the three short rules are an excellent starting point. When in doubt, keep it short.

Which is the most important of the three short rules?

Short sentences!

That’s lucky, because sometimes you need to use long words. How would scientists, academics and politicians function without them? And life would be dull indeed if all words longer than two syllables were unacceptable.

The more long words you use, the more important it is to use short sentences.

EXAMPLE OF PLAIN LANGUAGE: LONG WORDS + SHORT SENTENCES:
Internationally, governments are legislating for plain language. The plain language bill now before the US Congress and Senate is an influential prototype. This looks set to become law in 2009.

EXAMPLE OF HARD-TO-READ FANCY LANGUAGE: LONG WORDS + LONG SENTENCES
There are many examples of governments internationally mandating plain language in legislation, the most influential contemporaneous prototype being the plain language law currently before both the US Congress and Senate, with an intrinsic probability of enactment in 2009.

Ideally, dot-point lists should not be longer than around 7 items. That’s because the average person (you and I) can hold between 5-9 items in our short term memory.

If a dot-point list has more than 7 items, then readers:

• may forget how the list started
• may not read past the first item (strange but true)
• may lose sight of the start as they scroll down a web page.

So what should you do with longer lists? Don’t use dot points. Instead, you could:

• subdivide the list into smaller, logical sections, or
• list items alphabetically, or
• number items and order them chronologically or in a logical sequence (for example, steps in a procedure).

Put your main message or a summary of your document first, after the headline. In fact, the very first 6 words should give a strong clue about what’s in the document.

Assume other people will read only the first line or two of your document and not another word. (Much of the time, that’s the truth.)

Will they discover what your document is about? Will they get your main message? Or will they just read some introductory thoughts? If so, all your work is wasted, because many will read no further.

This basic rule of plain language applies to nearly all business writing. Even if most of the information is listed chronologically or in sequence (for example, in instructions), you should still put a summary first.

Exceptions include opinion articles, bad news letters and letters of apology.